I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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