Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
