I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
