woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
