I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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