found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
