I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
