I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
