Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
