hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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