I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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