BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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