Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Someone shit on the floor
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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