just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
