Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
