It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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