Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
