my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
