Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
