Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize