Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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