Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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