I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
