party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize