I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
