Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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