dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
