so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
