You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize