I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize