I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
