so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
