Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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