um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
