Got a toothbrush?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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