This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
