please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
They have beer where we have blood.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
