I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
