Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dignity is for republicans.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
