I heard we made out
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
