I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
