I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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