In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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