I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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