PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
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