Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
