The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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