So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
