Don't EVER smell your tampon
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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