I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
