ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
His nipple licking is glorious
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