I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
