i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize