i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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