Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
