I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
