I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
