I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
