dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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