..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
