so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Randomize
