Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Randomize
