Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize