she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
