Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
