we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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