guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize