I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
