The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Lo siento on account of my penis...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
