3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
