were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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