What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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