Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
