dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
